China's Finest

Yahoo reported last week on China's 'golden week' - a week-long holiday in which such festivities as squirting milk out of your eye is performed.

The next time we have exchange students, I am going to insist that they be Chinese. Hopefully they will know this trick and can teach us. Since our children seem to squirt from every other opening, why not this?

Sumo Wrestlers & Crying Babies

I wish we still had our Japanese students still living with us. Evidently, there is an annual event at the Sensoji temple in Tokyo - it is a baby-crying contest. It is part of a larger event in which the health of the babies are prayed for.

I guess the sumo wrestlers are on hand to help keep the babies crying? Wait, if you are praying for their health, why make them cry? This baby doesn't seem to appreciate the prayers.

If they really wanted a run for their money, they should have come to our house last night (this morning). Julia would have taken the prize - and that was without a sumo wrestler!

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo

Our celebration of Cinco de Mayo will not include the imbibing of alcohol. Instead, we are going to be performing a reenactment of the Battle of Puebla.

I'll be playing the part of General Ignacio Zaragoza, fearless leader of the Mexican troops, assigned by President Benito Juarez (played by Annie) to stop the French troops at all costs. My daughters will be dressed in traditional Mexican peasant garb, with Kate and Genna armed with rifles, and baby Julia with a machete.

Opposite us will be my siblings, playing the French, of course. My brother will fill the role of the foolish French commander, General Laurencez. My sister Shannon will play the roll of the French cavalry (she requested it, since she loves horses), and Kelly will be the French infantrymen - she has been perfecting her 'drop-your-rifle-and-run' technique for quite some time.

It should be a lot of fun. My only concern is that we might not have enough victory sombreros and French surrender flags ...

Don't Tell My Wife

A study was done recently that revealed that if you were to add up all the hours a typical stay at home mother spends on being mommy, she would earn a salary of $134,121.00.

Don't tell my wife about this. She'll demand more. I already don't ever see my paychecks. I'll have to get a second job just to pay her a salary.

Let's just keep this between you and me.

I Will Kill You

Yesterday Annie, the girls, and I were all outside enjoying the warm afternoon weather. I was holding Julia while Annie fed her crackers. In the midst of this wholesome family scene, Kate climbed to the top of the slide and said, "I will kill you guys." - looking at Annie and I.

Annie and I looked at each other in shock, suppressing a laugh. "What did you say, Kate?" Annie asked, assuming she had misheard her.
"I'm going to kill you," Kate said, with a slight smile.
What?" I asked. Annie and I no longer thought it was very funny.
"I'm going to kill you." At this point it was getting creepy and eerie.
"Kate, that's not nice to say," Annie said.
"I'm going to kill you." At this point I looked Kate over to make sure she hadn't sprouted horns or hooves. Nope, still the same cute Kate. Just evil.
"Kate," I said, "honey, that isn't nice to say. Don't say that."
Now smiling big, Kate says, "I'm going to kill you."
"Kate, who says that?" Annie asks, switching up her tactics.
"Gaston," Kate said. Oooooh. It all made sense. Gaston is the villain from Beauty and the Beast - he says that he is going to kill the beast. In fact, it is part of the song they sing as the torch-wielding mob heads to the beast's castle.
She finally stopped threatening us with death, but boy was it creepy.

I Don't Like Chicken Elmo

A while ago we got this dancing Elmo, known to our twins as Chicken Elmo. When you press his palm, he starts singing and dancing, shuffling forward to the beat of the Chicken Dance song. It is pretty loud, and Genna is deathly afraid of it. Every so often, though, she asks to see it. She has a love/hate relationship with him.

Yesterday I was holding Genna and sitting in the recliner. Annie was in the play room with Kate and Julia. Chicken Elmo was also there. Annie was keeping Elmo out of Genna's view, but was having him dance since Julia likes chewing on him. During one of the lulls in Elmo's singing and dancing performances, Genna broke out with a song of her own. She adapted a song that Annie sings to her (imagine her little almost-three-year-old voice singing quietly):

I love mommy, she loves me
I don't like Chicken Elmo, No Siree
I don't like Chicken Elmo, Yes Siree
I love Daddy, so you see
We are a happy family

Hey, Genna, do what you gotta do to cope with Chicken Elmo. You have my full support.

Julia the Destroyer

Yesterday afternoon Annie and I were so busy that we lost track of the now highly mobile Julia. "It's too quiet," Annie said. We both knew that she must be in the bathroom. She always seems to make a bee-line there whenever she realizes she isn't being properly monitored. Here was the scene I came across when I found the little escape artist:


She found our stash of Kirkland brand toilet paper! Using her teeth, she had already unwrapped one, done damage to a second, and was working on a third. See that smug look on her face? She knows she's bad, and she's proud of it! Her cousin, Carter, is behind her, looking on in horror at the wanton waste of precious paper products (say that 10 times fast!).

From now on, we are keeping all of the doors in the hallway closed. Hopefully Genna won't teach her the whole door-knob trick too soon.

Their Royal Highnesses

At the request of my sister, Kelly, here is a shot of the girls trying on their princess dresses at the store in Disneyland. Kate is in the yellow Belle dress, and Genna has donned the pink Sleeping Beauty dress.

They got the idea to sit down and fan out their dresses by watching the actual princesses earlier that day. Darn cute. I am on a role here ...