One Couple's Stumblings Through Parenthood and Marriage

Friday, July 14, 2006

New Guests

Today I will be going to UCD to pick up our two newest guests. We will be having two 16-year-old young men from China staying with us for the next two weeks.

Both hail from the Sichuan province of China, which is one of the most affluent and developed of that country. It is bordered on the west by the Himalaya, but it is most known for the Yangtze river that flows through the middle of it (Sichuan is a very large valley). From what I can find out online, our two students will be of Han stock, and will be speaking Mandarin.

Here are two brief bios:

Jinqi Yin: Hobbies: "Playing badminton, playing computer games, reading books."

Cool. He sounds like a pretty normal teenager. We can accommodate that.

Jinglun Li: Hobbies: "Go fishing, observing and catching living beings."

Hmmm. Something is lost in translation here. Are we going to have a teenage youth stalking our children with nets, bear traps, and blowguns? There isn't much fishing here unless he wants to drop his line in one of the nearby irrigation ditches. But there are a lot of animals for him to 'observe and catch.' We just need to clarify how broadly he intends to interpret the term 'live beings.'

Now, there are a few complications that I foresee. They come from a communist country, and for both of them this is their first time in the U.S.A. I wonder how the culture shock will be, given Annie and I's rampant consumerism. Second, I wonder how they will take our religious lifestyle (prayer, church, etc.).

My first thought was to make them feel at home. I was going get my hands on a few posters of Mao Zedong and some Chinese copies of the Communist Manifesto and place them in conspicuous parts of our house. But that didn't sit right. So, instead, I am going to hang pictures of Bill Gates and Donald Trump, and on each of their nightstands they will find copies of Adam Smith's The Wealth of Nations. That should help a lot. We'll be wonderful ambassadors.

Can anyone offer some advice on how best to make our new housemates feel at home? I can't let them on our computer, because they are most likely government-trained hackers who will use our internet access to mine NSA databases. Also, I feel compelled to ask them about the Chinese gal who faked having 5 babies in her womb. I'll hold them accountable for her lies. We are going to have bonafide commies in our house ... don't tell the Department of Homeland Security.

11 comments:

Jabbertrack said...

To make them feel at home you would have to censor the internet to only allow searches for how great China is and how toxic spills into that river they live by are not harmful at all and in fact do not exist.

Raging Wombat said...

Good point. I'll avoid the whole thing by keeping them off my computer. If they mention Tiananmen Square I'll just nod and offer a blank smile.

Ian said...

I would be shocked if they even knew about Tianamen Square. It is common for Chinese people to be entirely unaware of the Tiananmen protests according to wikipedia anyway.

Raging Wombat said...

They'll know because I have a 10' poster in my front room of the man standing in front of the tank.

Chelsa said...

Huh. I always thought those were goldfish in that picture.

Cinder6 said...

Just set your homepage to google.cn and block most other TLDs. That way, you get to censor their activities while not having to install extra software! Alternatively, you could use a proxy that is based in China; that might get you the benefits of the Great Firewall of China.

Raging Wombat said...

Ooh, the Great Firewall of China - I like it.

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