I Only Gained 2 lbs

I only gained two pounds over the Thanksgiving weekend. Not bad considering the obscene amounts I ate. I considered wearing my wife's maternity clothing, but thought better of it. I don't know how stretch capris would look on me ... though there is only one way to find out ...
We had Thanksgiving dinner with my family, including Grandpa, Auntie Barbara, uncle-to-be Jon, uncle William, Shannon's Derek and, of course, the whole Lindsay clan. We feasted upon freshly butchered and organic Brannigan turkey, from my hometown of Woodland. The food was good, the company was good, and when we left I only had mild indigestion - I think I ate ten deviled eggs.
We spent the last half of the day with my inlaws, which included the Walker, Lindsay, Swisher and Thomas clans. In all, it was eleven adults and nine children, six of which are two years or younger. It made for bedlam, but fun bedlam. I got to have my pumpkin and pecan pies. Thanks, Christine.
We avoided leaving the house all of Black Friday, despite being close to many of the outrageous sales. We didn't want to get trampled. Instead, we popped some popcorn and showed the twins Beauty and the Beast for the first time. I must say, this film is much more man-friendly than The Little Mermaid - there's more fighting (wolves, Gaston, the beast), less singing and a womanizing candlestick. Still, I can't help but feel that Disney should start paying us for all of the advertising we do for them.
Saturday was a blast - we heralded in the Christmas season by taking down anything hinting of Autumn and going to the local Christmas tree farm, Silvieville. We enjoyed the sleigh rides, free popcorn and fresh air, but ended up getting our tree from the Boy Scout lot. I have great pictures - more to follow.
For some reason we thought it would be fun to decorate our tree with our two-year-old twins still awake. It turned out to be quite stressful. They couldn't quite grasp that the Dora the Explorer ornaments were for hanging not playing. Also, they just tossed ornaments onto the tree - absolutely no artistic sensibilities. We had to undo their work once we got them to bed.
We now have a house that is fully loaded with white lights, holly berry vines, snowmen in a variety of forms, santa snowglobes, candles and a large, fully-decorated tree. Yee-haw!