Pain in the Neck

About three weeks ago I began to experience neck pain. At first I dismissed it as your typical kink from sleeping wrong. It continued to get worse, though, and soon spread down my right shoulder. Annie, being a massage therapist, worked on my ache a few times, but she said that it was a nerve problem and that I should see a chiropractor.

I was reluctant, and being the typical male, waited it out way too long. She finally coerced me in to going, and so I had my first ever chiropractic visit yesterday. After talking to the doctor (yes, he is a chiropractic doctor, entitled to the 'Dr.' before his name), and doing some testing, it became clear that I was suffering from a spinal problem. He took some x-rays, and here were the results:


Your typical spine is supposed to look nice and curved back (click here for a photo of one). As you can see from my x-ray, my neck not only doesn't curve back, it is a bit kinked forward. This is causing a pinched nerve - which is resulting in my shoulder pain.

The chiropractor was surprised at the crooked state of my cervical spine. The good news is that there is no hint of arthritis and he believes he can fix me. He thinks that my condition was most likely caused from some sort of trauma. Possible candidates for the cause could be:

1) My natural, knuckle-dragging, ape-like posture.
2) My years competing in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
3) That one time I rescued 20 children from a sinking bus, and I bonked my head on the door on the way out.
4) That other time when I was breaking the land speed record and hit a tree, causing whiplash.

Honestly - I have no idea what could have caused it. All I know is that it is lame and that it hurts. I have always had good posture, and people often comment on how admirably my neck holds up my oversized head. Maybe that is it - the weight of mi cabesa is finally breaking down my poor spine.

Speaking of spines - yesterday also involved me getting my first chiropractic adjustment. After my shoulders were loosened up with electrodes that caused my considerable muscle mass to flex and unflex (much to the delight of the nurses), he came in and twisted my head from side to side, causing my neck to crackle like a bag of chips. I actually felt better afterwards. Today I go in for my next appointment.

Are there any doctors, chiropractors, or neck-ologists who can take a look at this x-ray and give me some advice? I need help.

To make matters worse, Annie, in her sympathy, has created a new nickname for me: Lil' Warp Neck. I don't like it.