Breakfast of Champions

Yesterday Ryo prepared for himself quite a breakfast. At first I was dismayed at his choice, fearing that we had not provided him with enough options. But then I looked through our fridge and pantry. Had he wanted, he could have cooked up some bacon, eggs, ham, waffles, and pancakes. Or, if he was in a hurry, he could have poured a bowl of Cheerios, Kix, Shredded Wheat, Grape Nuts, Honey Bunches of Oats - and on the sugary side, some Honey Comb or Fruity Pebbles (yes, we have that many cereals). Or he could have had some toast with butter or peanut butter and honey, a Nutrigrain bar, a bagel, some poptarts, or some Eggo waffles or frozen hash browns. Heck, we even had oranges, bananas, and apples. So many choices.

Instead, I watched him take out a bowl, line it with a flour tortilla, smash a single hotdog into it, dump two fistfuls of cheese on it, and then top it all off with several stripes of ketchup. 1 1/2 minutes in the microwave later, he had a steaming pile of ... stuff. I had to struggle to keep my own food down. Not only because the smell of hotdogs is so wrong in the morning, but because he was eating his food with a fork, and slurping up the stringy melted cheese like noodles - complete with the slurping sound. I had to turn away.

But the food saga doesn't end there. One we got back from church Ryo headed straight for the kitchen. Annie told him that I was planning on cooking us all some lunch. He said that he would make his own. Guess what he prepared for himself? He got out a dinner plate, tossed a tortilla on it, placed two hotdogs on it, plopped several handfuls of cheese and lettuce on top - and lots of ketchup - and after he nuked it, ate his concoction like a taco.

Oh boy, I don't know how Ryo stays so skinny. I am certain, though, that once he dies, his body will be so full of nitrates that his body won't need to be embalmed to be perfectly preserved for millennia.

Does the story end there? No! Allow me move on to Yuki's dinner. He came home late (surprise) and fired up the Foreman grill and the microwave. He labored for quite some time, so I walked over to see what he was working on. In the end, his plate was piled high with two baked potatoes, nearly a pound of ground beef (in two patties), an entire grilled yellow onion, half a cup of salsa, ketchup, and a heap of melted cheese. He had it all on his plate as one big, horrifying dish - not individual sides and entrees. Yuki ate it all in less than five minutes. It took him far longer to clean up than to eat.

We have just over a month remaining with our two students. We really enjoy having them, but we are being eaten out of house and home. I'm afraid to come home one day to see that they have eaten through my drywall and started feasting on my wall studs. Termites have nothing on these boys.