Death Calculator

I heard about the Death Calculator yesterday on the radio, and thought it was interesting. Here are the questions, though you can visit the site here. Per the calculator, I will live to a ripe old age of 86.

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Start with 79 (today's average life expectancy)
1. Gender?
Female = plus 1. Male = minus 2.
2. Do you have an annual physical exam?
Yes = plus 3. No = minus 3.
3. Grandparent lived to 85-plus?
Add 2 for each long-lived grandparent.
4. Do you volunteer on a weekly basis?
Yes = plus 2. No = minus 1.
5. Do you live alone?
Yes, minus 3. No, 0 points.
6. Are you able to laugh at, and learn from, your mistakes.
Yes = plus 1. No = minus 3.
7. Do you have a confidant who listens to your problems?
Yes = plus 1. No = minus 2.
8. Do you play puzzles and games?
Yes = plus 4. No = 0.
9. Daily aerobic exercise: swimming, jogging, biking?
Yes = plus 3. No = 0.
10. Eat balanced diet of fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains?
Yes = plus 2. No = minus 3.
11. Do you smoke a pack of cigarettes daily?
Yes = minus 4. No = 0.
12. Live with, work with or have friends who smoke?
Yes = minus 1. No = 0.
13. Do you "yo-yo" on and off diet fads?
Yes = minus 5. No = 0 points.
14. Own an interactive pet (dog, cat)?
Yes = plus 2. Passive pet (goldfish) = plus 1.
15. Left-handed yes= minus 1. Right-handed = 0.
16. For every inch of your height that exceeds 5'8", minus six months.
17. Are you a religious person, and do you practice your faith?
Yes = plus 2. No = 0.
18. Two or more daughters?
Yes = plus 3. No = 0. (Daughters are elder caregivers).
19. Use stress management (meditation, quiet time, spa)?
Yes = plus 4. No = minus 3.
20. Walk to work? Yes = plus 2. Ride to work? Yes = plus 1. Drive to work? Yes = minus 3.
21. Cosmetic surgery?
Minus 5 for each decade you have a procedure. Minus 1 for each additional procedure per decade.
22. Do you fear the uncertainties of growing old?
Yes = minus 2. No fear = plus 1.
23. Substance abuse?
Yes = minus 6. Shared use of substances = minus 3.
24. Sexual promiscuity (multiple partners, STD risks)?
Yes = minus 6. No = 0.
25. Engaged in long-term, relationship of trust and mutual respect?
Yes = plus 5. No = 0.
26. All friends same age as you?
Yes = minus 2. No = plus 1.
27. Written specific life goals and completion timeframes?
Yes = plus 1. No = 0.
28. Family history of cardiovascular or cancer prior to age 50?
Minus 2 per occurrence.
29. Family history of obesity, diabetes, chronic depression?
Minus 2 per each occurrence. Your life expectancy is:

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You may have noticed that if you really want to live to be old, you should be a right-handed, married, religious woman, who does puzzles, eats a balanced diet, exercises, has a diverse group of friends and two daughters, and good family health and longevity history.

To maximize my life expectancy, I have signed up for a daily Jazzercise class, and I now do the New York Times crossword puzzle every day. I was going to fly to Europe for gender reassignment surgery, but then I saw that being a woman would only yield me one extra year, while the 'cosmetic' surgery would take away five years. Oh well.