Conspiracy

Last night - on a three-day weekend no less! - Annie and I were up multiple times with the girls. Mainly Julia, but Genna was an offender as well. We just couldn't console the baby. Her diaper was clean and dry, she wasn't hungry, and snuggling her wasn't yielding the normal results. That left us with only one option - not sleeping ourselves.

When 7:00 rolled around this morning, it was obvious that Julia wasn't going to sleep at all. As I got up to go feed her, I realized that I was coming down with a cold. Then it struck me. It always seems to happen that I get a cold the day following an abysmal night of sleep - always caused by the girls. This could only mean one thing - the girls had entered into some secret conspiracy with the cold virus to undermine their parents. I know, I know. You're probably saying that it is my lack of sleep that suppressed my immune system enough to let the virus take hold. I agree. Isn't it a coincidence, though, that it always seems to happen?

My hope now is that I can somehow profit from this. How many toddlers and infants are able to communicate, and coordinate, with viruses? Not many. If I can document this, and get it into the scientific community, then I can sell my girls off to be studied, get featured in all of the scientific journals, and Oprah, and then become rich. This isn't my delirium speaking. I have to go now. There is a pink elephant floating in the front room that I have to chase away. He smells.