One Couple's Stumblings Through Parenthood and Marriage

Thursday, November 03, 2005

PartyLite & Life Crisis

On Tuesday Annie hosted a PartyLite show, in which the women of the Lindsay & Walker clans, (and several others) were most liberal in their purchases of candles and candlesticks. Thank you all very much, for it gave Annie a lot of free credit and turned out to be the consultant's best show to date.
Last night Annie and I spent a good hour going over the catalogues to see how we could best spend her $200 in credit. Yes, I spent over an hour looking at candles. Don't get me wrong, I loved spending the time with my wife. What disturbed me, though, was that I enjoyed looking at candles! What's wrong with me?!?
Something changes when a man gets married. I still remember the horror I felt when I first walked into someone else's house and noticed and critiqued how they decorated. I never cared how anyone decorated before! But ever since moving into a place of our own, I always notice. Also, since the brith of our twin girls I have become disturbingly comfortable with the color pink. PINK! I actually look at our girls' double-pink bedroom with pride. I have diagnosed this condition as 'pink-out.' Other symptoms include: using words like 'cute' and adorable', noticing the girls' clothing sections at department stores, and enjoying look for bargains amidst the Disney Princess doll section.
I am reaching a crisis point. I am now outnumbered by females four to one. My testosterone levels, though incredibly high, are insufficient. I need help. Please, if anyone has any advice on how to restore some gender balance to my household let me know. Annie won't let me get a rottweiler or a big truck or an assault rifle. I am desperate. Help please.

7 comments:

Paul Lindsay said...

Jared and I are very very worried about you. Mom had reported this strange behavior to which Jared said, "Not my brother!" He and I have resolved to perform an intervention on you.

Another problem, your mother now expects ME to behave like you and go through catalogs with her!

Dad

Ian said...

Okay, I searched for "Expensive Items", "Stuff to Buy", and a few other things.

Also, for kicks I searched for "quality coffee".

Raging Wombat said...

Dad,

It only gets worse. Today I was walking through my office, which is full of engineers and field technicians, humming Cinderella's "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes ..." If I keep this up, I am going to be beaten and tossed into the river.

Raging Wombat said...

Ian,
Quality coffee. Nice. I like it. You should also use my site to look up 'the many good uses of alcohol' and 'why crystal meth is our friend.' I love the thought of my creation being used for evil. There is something dramatic about it. In the end, I may have to fight my website in mortal hand-to-hand combat on the roof of some skyscraper - the master tragically having to kill his creation. Think of Gepeto taking an axe to Pinochio.

Ian said...

As a Davisite, there is no need to bother looking up a good local vendor of Meth (or "Krisl'nac as you say in Wood-Hood). I simply go to downtown Woodland and shop locally. That way, you get to keep the tax dollars :)

Raging Wombat said...

Ian,
Thank you for supporting out local industry. In return, whenever I want weed or a hit of academic arrogance I will be sure to stroll through the streets of Davis.

Paul Lindsay said...

Hey, you can post a link to my website.

Dad