One Couple's Stumblings Through Parenthood and Marriage

Friday, May 19, 2006

A New Experience ...

I am doing everything to avoid surgery on my herniated disc. A couple of days ago I had an MRI done, and the technician said that in her 20 years, she had never seen one so big. Yay! That was so encouraging! She asked me what caused it, but I don't think she bought my bear-wrestling story.

So, this morning I went in for my first ever acupuncture session. I was really nervous and didn't know what to expect. The acupuncturist is a Chinese lady (comforting, for some reason - made it seem authentic), who is an MD and has been doing this work for 25 years.

After interviewing me, she had me lie face down and shirtless on the table. Once I was good and comfortable (ya, right), she cupped one hand under my chin and the other around the back of my head and gave a good pull. She said, "You need to relax." Ya right, lady! You're tugging on my head! That didn't work out so good for me last time!

But then came the main event. She rubbed my neck and shoulders down with alcohol and then proceded with placing needles along my spine, starting at the base of my skull and down just past the base of my neck. Then she inserted a couple along both shoulder blades. I was really tense because I was freaked out about needles being poked so close to my spine, but I could tell she was a professional.

Next, she attached electrodes to four of the needles, and turned on an electronic pulse machine. Before I new it, the muscles along the outside of my scapula, and along the base of my neck were twitching in time. Then, to top it all off, she rolled a heating lamp over me so I would stay warm. I then laid there for 45 minutes! It was crazy. I wish I could have seen myself. I wasn't sure if she was trying to cook me, convert me into a cyborg, or pull some Dr. Frankenstein trick. In the end, I almost fell asleep a couple of times - until her next patients arrived. I was distracted from sleeping because I could hear them talking in Chinese - and I was in plain sight of them. I imagine they were commenting on the foolish, pasty white boy who agreed to have a stranger stick needles in him.

I don't feel any better yet, but this is supposed to take multiple sessions. The goal is to get my muscle spasms loose enough to permit the bulging disc to retract back into place. We'll see. Wish me luck.

8 comments:

Chelsa said...

each part of that experience sounds more fun than the part before! Have you ever seen the movie, "How to Get Ahead In Advertising"? zzzthe guy starts out with some weird growth on his neck, which slowly grows into a second head. It might be very relevent to your life right now.

Anonymous said...

the 'zzz' was from me!

Raging Wombat said...

I've never seen that movie. Sounds like it would freak me out - I have long suspected that my pain is spawned by an evil twin I absorbed while yet in the womb.

Thanks for your input, Max. It is always appreciated.

Jabbertrack said...

I've always wanted to try that. It's supposed to work great, just stay positive man your body needs your help :) I do not envy your plight.

Ian said...

I just received a shipment of "ijoy" massage chairs, and also a "human touch" massage chair. It's about grand for the good one, but it feels pretty good, and also i get money.

Dear Lovey Heart said...

i hope you feel better soon!!

Raging Wombat said...

Thanks for your support. I think the number one thing I can do is stay positive and don't let it stress me out.

Anonymous said...

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