One Couple's Stumblings Through Parenthood and Marriage

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Killing, Burning, and Forks

It began as any other night at home. But it turned sinister. As we prepared dinner, Genna said, "Daddy, I'm going to kill you."
"What?" I asked, not believing my ears.
"I'm going to kill you," she repeated.
"Genna," I said, assuming my low daddy voice, "that is not nice to say. Don't say that again. Would you like it if someone said that to you?" I picked her up, bibbed her, and placed her in the chair for dinner.
"If someone say dat to me, I would burn dem," she said.
"What?" This was getting darker and funnier.
"I would burn dem if dey say dat to me," she clarified.
"How would you burn them?"
"Daddy, I just do dat! I would push dem."
"How would you push them?" I asked. I glanced over at Annie, who was caught somewhere between amusement and calling 911.
"I would push dem like dis, with a fork," she said as she brandished her fork.

Thanks for the death threat, Genna. This photo is of her getting chastized by mommy. Genna turned her fork (still in hand) against Kate. I took this picture to create a paper trail. If I suddenly stop posting for a few days, assume that Genna has killed us and call the authorities.

All this talk of killing, burning, and pushing with forks really worked up an appetite in our bellies. The girls went on to enjoy their pasta, while I programmed our neighborhood exorcist's number into our speed dial.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should have pointed out how you lead by example.

I mean you were well within your rights to burn her by pushing her down with a fork and you let her live.

Does your mercy know no bounds?

Raging Wombat said...

My weakness as a parent worsens with each passing day. Woe is me!

Chelsa said...

I think that whole Chicken Elmo escapade has affected Genna more than we realized. Clearly she is suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, and her fight or flight instincts are in permanent overdrive. I hear that Andrea knows Dr. Phil -- perhaps some tough love therapy is in order?

Raging Wombat said...

Of course! Dr. Phil would fix her right up! "Genna, I hear you're burning people with fork-pushing. How's that workin' for ya?"

Kelly said...

Genna has always been a passionate child. I remember once when she was holding a little rubber tire and Shannon asked her what it was. Some kids might say a tire, others might say, garbage, but Genna- no Genna Said

"This is my Life."

She doesn't do things in half measures

Raging Wombat said...

Kelly, what you call passionate I call evil.